I’m not exactly sure why weddings can be so depressing for us girls. But - they definitely can. It’s sometimes all we can do to get through a wedding without sobbing our eyes out – all the beauty, romance and joy that the couple has – it is SO amazing! We are rejoicing with them and imagining all the happiness bursting from their hearts that day.
But we are also thinking about our own situation and pain during someone else’s wedding many times. This kind of thing doesn’t seem to affect guys at all. But for girls, it is SO hard to just be happy for your friends or other people when they get married. The feelings, romance and emotions of weddings practically force us to compare ourselves to where the happy couple appears to be and we can easily believe that we are missing out.
Here’s how we girls feel sometimes at weddings:
- Before we have a boyfriend, we sometimes think – IF ONLY I had a boyfriend! I want to get married, too! I’m NEVER going to have a boyfriend. No one wants me. I’m unlovable. I guess I have to accept that I am doomed to be alone the rest of my life!
- When we have a boyfriend, we sometimes think – IF ONLY I had a ring on my finger! How can I possibly make it through this incredibly romantic wedding and not even be engaged yet myself? I have the WORST boyfriend, EVER! He must not love me at all! I’ll show him!
- When we are engaged, we sometimes think – IF ONLY we were already married! How can I wait another year!?!?? I want to be married NOW! Maybe we should elope. Wait. I want a beautiful wedding! But I want it NOW! I don’t want to wait! I wish it was ME getting married today! My wedding day will NEVER come!
- When we are married, we sometimes think – I WISH I could go back to how glorious everything was on our wedding day (if it went well.) Or I WISH I could go back and redo it because so many things went wrong (if it didn’t go well). Or I WISH that life would have turned out the way I thought it was going to before we got married. If we are unhappy, we even think, “Did I marry the right guy?” If I had only married the “right” man, I would be happy now. And weddings can make us feel so sad and depressed because we miss the excitement of getting married and maybe we have realized that we are actually married to a sinner – and things haven’t been all “happily ever after” for us. That can be a big disappointment when you used to think you could change your guy once you married him and that your love would turn him into the best Prince Charming ever. (At some point, every bride realizes she married the “wrong” guy – he is a sinful, imperfect human, after all! But God can use that man’s weaknesses to shape you to be more like Christ!!)
- When we are married and things are going well we think – WOW! I sure wish I knew before we got married what I know now! Could have spared ourselves some SERIOUS pain. I need to pray for this couple … A LOT! (But even when your marriage is going great, weddings can bring up some painful emotions from times when it wasn’t going so well. Weddings are POWERFUL! They represent some HEAVY spiritual truths.)
Oh, weddings! We LOVE them! But they can be a challenge even for the most composed women!SO MANY difficult and wonderful emotions.
WE CAN ALL HAVE THE PERFECT GROOM!
I’m so thankful that Jesus looks at us, His church, as His bride. Even if we never get to be married here on earth, or even if our marriage here isn’t very “happily ever after” – Jesus wants to be our heavenly Bridegroom. He can be the perfect husband to us. He ALWAYS knows what the most loving thing to do for us is and exactly what we need. He always knows how to lead and direct us. We are always safe with Him. He can’t sin. He can’t be tempted to sin. He’s powerful, strong, mighty and our Shield and Defender.
He longs for us to reach out to Him, to read His love letter (the Bible), to cherish His Words, to cherish His love, to worship Him, to center our life around Him – to look forward to the wedding banquet we can share with Him in heaven one day because we trust His sacrifice for us and we know His blood cleanses our every sin and wrong doing! We put our faith completely in Him and serve Him, loving Him with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength and we get to be in His presence in heaven forever – the best happily ever after!
WHEN YOU ARE LONGING FOR THE MOST ROMANTIC MARRIAGE
Read Jesus’ proposal to you -
I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going. John 14:2-3
I am the way and the truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6
Read about how God views Himself as our Husband
“The time is coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel… It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord. “This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord. I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach is neighbor saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest,” declares teh Lord. Jeremiah 31:31-34
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin, Israel…Jeremiah 31:3-4
“For your Maker is your husband – the Lord Almighty is His Name – the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit – a wife who married young only to be rejected,” says your God. For a brief moment I abandoned you (Israel had been unfaithful and committed idolatry which is like adultery to God), but with deep compassion I will bring you back…
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, Who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:5-7, 10
For the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married… as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. Isaiah 62:5 (if you belong to Him!)
Revelation 21-1-4,9 (The presentation of the glorious bride of Christ in heaven)
Help us to find that You are the only Perfect Bridegroom! You alone can meet our every spiritual need! Let us find our rest, our hope, our life in You! Let us love and worship You above everything and everyone else! Open our eyes to see that You desire to be our Husband. You want to be one with us in Spirit. You want us to be completely devoted to You – body, heart and soul. You are the ultimate Prince Who came to rescue us when we were in great distress and couldn’t save ourselves. You laid down Your perfect, sinless life for us!!! You became SIN for us! You loved us so deeply that You couldn’t let us die without hope. Thank You for the gift of an intimate relationship with You that You offer to each of us! Help us to find our greatest treasure, joy and hope in You alone! Let us be faithful to You by Your power!
Help us to not be envious of other women on their wedding days. Help us to see that each wedding we witness is a foreshadowing of the incredible wedding day we will celebrate in heaven with You when You present us to Yourself as a radiant bride, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (Ephesians 5:27). Help us to look ahead with great hope and anticipation of our REAL wedding day in glory with Jesus!
Thank Your for marriage, for husbands, for wives, for families. Thank You for the longing we have for marriage. Thank You for love, sex and intimacy in marriage. Thank You that husbands represent Christ in marriage and that wives represent the church and that You created marriage to illustrate Your loving relationship with Your people as others witness the love and self-sacrifice of the husband and the respect and biblical submission of the wife. Thank You for the good gifts You give us. Help us to honor You in the way we live and help us to wait patiently on Your timing and be content with what we have each moment – trusting Your sovereignty and Your decisions to be best for us.
We love You with all our hearts, Jesus!