Benefits vs. Costs of Waiting for Marriage

Posted on April 6, 2012 by


COSTS OF WAITING FOR MARRIAGE TO HAVE SEX (INCLUDING ORAL SEX)

  • You have to wait a LONG time (longer than any generation in the past had to wait to be married).
  • It’s hard to wait.
  • You might feel like you are missing out.
  • It’s pretty unpopular to wait for marriage.
  • There will be times you don’t want to keep waiting.
  • It takes discipline and the power of God’s Spirit to stay spiritually/emotionally/sexually pure.
  • You’ll need to stay close to God, you’ll have to constantly confess sin and struggles.
  • You’ll need godly people (parents, friends and mentors) to help you stay accountable even when you don’t want them to help you! 
  • There may be some guys who won’t want to date you. (This may feel like a cost, but it is also a blessing!  See below!)
  • You’ll have to be prepared to stand your ground.
  • Satan will mark you as a target – he will want to take you down, and he will try everything he can to get you to falter, stumble and fail.
  • You have to make your purity and virginity, and your relationship with Jesus a higher priority than any particular relationship with a guy – this could mean having to end relationships that dishonor Christ, and that can be excrutiatingly painful.

BENEFITS OF SAVING SEX (including oral sex) FOR MARRIAGE

PHYSICAL BENEFITS

  • When you go to the OB/GYN before you get married, and after you get married (assuming you have also married a guy who is a virgin – which is God’s plan for all of us!) you can happily say that you have NEVER had an STD.  STDs will hardly be on your radar at all, not even much of a concern.  THAT IS A HUGE BLESSING!  It is WONDERFUL not to have to think about things like that.
  • You don’t have to worry about unwanted pregnancies before marriage, or about how to handle babies from previous relationships and dealing with your children’s biological dads as you are trying to be married to someone else.
  • You don’t have to go through the humiliation, guilt and shame of having to tell your parents about what you have done wrong.
  • Your body is pure and undefiled.
  • If your husband was also a virgin when you married, you don’t have to worry about him infecting you with an STD.  That is peace that is priceless and precious!
  • You don’t have to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars a month to treat an STD.
  • You don’t have to worry about infecting your husband or children with an STD.  What peace of mind and freedom that is!
  • You don’t have to worry about an increased risk of cervical cancer from HPV.
  • You don’t have to worry about an STD affecting your ability to have babies with your husband in the future.
  • You don’t have to worry about your babies being infected with HIV or hepatitis or have to worry about birth defects from the prescriptions you need for your STD affecting your precious babies in the future. 

EMOTIONAL BENEFITS

  • You have no hormonal, neurochemical ties to other men and no sexual memories to dredge up and haunt you when you are married.
  • There may be some guys who don’t want to date you – AND THESE ARE GUYS THAT ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE THE BEST HUSBANDS!  It’s a good thing to weed out the losers and only keep the godly, Christlike guys who care more about your health, safety and well-being than their own selfish sexual desires.
  • You belong completely to your wonderful husband and you have no regrets!  If you had billions of dollars, you couldn’t buy that peace and joy!
  • You feel whole, healthy, clean and you know you are a precious gift to be savored, cherished, protected and enjoyed.  You know and appreciate your true worth in God’s eyes and your husband’s eyes.
  • You feel valuable, not cheap.
  • You feel joy, not guilt!
  • You can bond with your husband, enjoying sex as God designed it to be and savor that oxytocin high that God designed you to share with your man.
  • You can feel blessed, excited and happy when you find out that you are pregnant, it can be a time of great joy, no shame at all!
  • You will feel secure in your husband’s love and commitment to you – that is a woman’s greatest need in marriage! 
  • If your husband also waited and saved himself for you, then you are free from worrying about all of his past baggage and memories, or possibly previous children from other relationships.  You won’t worry about being compared to other girls from his past.

SPIRITUAL BENEFITS

  • You can maintain your close relationship with God and not have to go through all the repentance and forgiveness, but stay united with your Lord all throughout your teenage and young adult years and right into your marriage – what a blessing to stay strong and empowered by God’s Spirit instead of going through a time of rebellion and losing the blessings God intended for you to enjoy.
  • You can reap the spiritual benefits of obeying God’s Word – God’s peace and joy even when things are hard.
  • You can stay empowered by the Spirit of God since you haven’t grieved him, so you will make much better choices and follow God’s voice because you can still hear him.  You will make all of your choices, including your choice of a husband much more wisely!
  • You can stay connected tightly with a group of mature Christian believers who have the same desires and goals you do and who will support you on this journey of purity.
  • You are much more likely to find a godly, wonderful husband when you are tight with a group of godly people!
  • You can better hear God’s calling for you for ministry, career and all of your big decisions, as well as the little ones.
  • You’ll have no regrets!

When you say that Jesus Christ is your Savior and LORD – you live for Him, you sacrifice your own desires for His.  If He is Lord of your life, He is also Lord of your sexuality, your purity, and your virginity.  He is in charge of leading you to the best guy for you.  He has GOOD plans for your future!  You can trust Him!

 

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