My Favorite Marriage Books

Posted on September 16, 2012 by


  • The Bible – This is THE MOST important book on marriage. It explains God’s design and how to make marriage work at its best by the Creator of marriage, men and women! THE BEST SOURCE!
  • Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs – The first book that showed me the big problem I had – my lack of respect and got me on my quest to learn to respect my husband and submit to him in a way that honors God.
  • The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle – This book was my Rosetta Stone for learning the practical basics of beginning to respect and give up control. It is not written from a Christian standpoint. So please compare what you read to scripture – as we should with everything other than the Bible! Some specific examples you may need to check with your husband to see if HE thinks certain things are respectful or disrespectful.
  • Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley – Written by a Christian who was a radical feminist in college and majored in women’s studies. This is a really great history of the rise of feminism and the major players and their philosophies as well as the primary goals of each of the 3 waves of feminism. Very eye opening! It made me cry to read it, to see how systematically and purposely these women destroyed all God-given authority in our culture and our churches. And it is pretty terrifying to realize that the goals of the first and second waves of feminism are completely mainstream thought today. Almost all of us have been severely impacted by this worldview, even if we would never identify ourselves as feminists.
  • Finding the Hero in Your Husband by Dr. Julianna Slattery – great book by a Christian author who explains how to bring out the best in your man “Success as the leader of his family depends largely on what he needs from his wife: her confidence.” “Nothing is more devastating than to be viewed as incompetent by the woman of his life. Conversely, the most exhilarating and empowering gift a wife can give is to trust and believe in her husband.” “When he experiences success, he wants to look over and see you smiling, sharing his joy. When he is tired and discouraged, struggling against the odds, he wants to know there is still one person believing in him and willing him to keep trying. Like anything else, becoming a husband, a provider and a leader is a process. Your husband will fail along the way. Your respect means that you continue to believe and invest in his strength – even when everyone else gives up on him.” pg 24,25, 26
  • For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn – a Christian author collected viable and large group size statistics from over a thousand Christian men about how they think and feel, what they need and what they wish their wives understood about them as men. This book will give you a much deeper understanding of men and a greater appreciation for them. It will help you see how very different women and men are!
  • His Brain, Her Brain by Dr. Walt Larimore MD – A Christian husband and wife team write about the anatomical and biological differences in male and female brains and how God designed us that way for His glory and His good purposes. Excellent read! Very insightful – a bit technical, but I liked that part.
  • The Power of a Woman’s Words by Jaynes – a Christian author discusses every area of life and how important a woman’s words are. The chapters on marriage are very good and give practical ideas and suggestions that are very helpful.
  • The Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave by Bob Grant – this is an e-book by a marriage counselor. He had very practical advice about how to be more feminine and alluring in many ways to your husband. He doesn’t state he is a Christian but he supports respect and submission wholeheartedly. I read this way before Love and Respect and before The Surrendered Wife and some of the concepts were above my grasp at the time. The book is VERY good, but you may need some other foundational books to be able to have the power to do what he recommends and to understand.
  • The Life Ready Woman by Shaunti Feldhahn – a Christian author teams up with a pastor and they talk about God’s biggest purposes for your life and how to prioritize your life according to God’s priorities for you. VERY helpful – and challenging!
  • The Feminist Gospel by Mary Kassian – “The movement to unite feminism with the church.” This book is a historical account of feminism and its affects and influence on the church. Honestly, I get so upset when I read it that I cry a lot – it is just so devastating to me to see what we have lost as women in the last few decades. So I haven’t finished it! But it definitely shows the danger and evil goals of feminism and how it has largely crippled the church.
  • The Language of Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs – a sequel to Love and Respect. His books are VERY good – from a Christian perspective. Fairly practical, although I needed even more basic info because I was so clueless!
  • If You Don’t Die to Self, I May Have to Kill You! by news anchor Karen Long – She and her husband had a VERY unstable and even violent marriage at first. She has a witty sense of humor. She became a Christian but it took a long time for her to figure out marriage. Towards the latter half of the book, she has some seriously deep theology. She humbly presents all of her mistakes and takes her readers through the lessons God taught her to help them arrive at a beautiful place in their marriage.
  • Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas – a deep theological book about the way God uses marriage to make us holy. Excellent!!!
  • Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas – this book continues where Sacred Marriage left off. It has a lot more practical information for wives and shows us the power of our godly femininity and influence and how God can use us to help Him shape our husbands into godly men. Many real life examples. But don’t skip the meat in the first half of the book! It is VERY important stuff! Then the last half has chapters that deal with specific issues and actual couples and how God used a godly wife to influence her husband for Him in VERY difficult situations. He talks about husbands with abuse, violence, bad tempers, workaholism, pornography problems, affairs, and unbelieving husbands. EXTREMELY GOOD STUFF!
  • The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura Schlessinger – She is a famous Jewish talk show host/marriage therapist. She has a very solid understanding of men and their needs and how to make marriage work. She has a no-nonsense way of explaining men to wives and is able to help us look past the feminism that damages our thinking so much. She also does quote Christian pastors and excerpts from the New Testament on marriage. Quite practical. Helps us to understand our husbands’ perspectives much more clearly.
  • Feminine Appeal by Caroline Mahaney – A pastor’s wife explains godly femininity by breaking down Titus 2:2-5 and devoting a chapter to each virtue that the Bible describes as “good” for women. VERY helpful and practical!
  • Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow – A Christian wife describes very practical details about how to stop being your husband’s Holy Spirit and how to actually influence him in a godly way as well as how to obey God yourself. Excellent!
  • What’s Submission Got to Do with It? by Cindy Easlely – A Christian writer describes how a woman can be strong, opinionated and smart AND submit to her husband according to the Bible’s definition and find great joy and peace. She has different chapters where she interviews real women who have submitted in difficult circumstances: an unbelieving husband, a husband with a chronic illness, an often-absent husband, in an economic role-reversal where the wife is the primary breadwinner and cultural issues (learning to submit when you are from a matriarchal culture). She also discusses the difference between codependency and real submission as well as quotes several husbands about the issue of respect. VERY GOOD resource!
  • When a Woman Inspires her Husband by Cindi McMenamin – A Christian author and wife who explains how to understand and affirm the man in your life. Chapter titles include: Understanding His World, Becoming His Cheerleader, Easing His Burdens, Making His Home a Sanctuary, Giving Him Breathing Room, Encouraging Him to Dream, Enticing Him to Pursue, Letting Him Lead, Accepting Him Spiritually, Loving Him as God Does. I also LOVE that she includes excerpts from real life husbands. Very illuminating and insightful.
  • The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner – A Christian who struggled with the concepts of respect and submission and spent about 10 years really learning to live these principles before she felt like she finally “got it.” This book is a work book that has 40 days worth of dares. Each day has something to learn and a wife’s story and then questions and assignments to help women learn to show respect. VERY helpful! She has a second book coming out this December!
  • The Politically Incorrect Wife by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby – Written by 2 Christian wives, “The Politically Incorrect Wife does NOT buy into modern-day thinking that says: 1. You are in control of your own life. 2. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. 3. You should treat your husband like he treats you. 4. Your feelings are your guide. 5. Your husband needs to earn your respect. 6. You should make him pay for your forgiveness. 7. There’s no such thing as a happy marriage anymore. 8. Your husband’s job is to make you happy. She DOES hold to these spiritual principles, which transform from the inside out: 1. Doing things God’s way is the key to having a joyful life. 2. I am 100% responsible to God for my behavior as a wife. 3. I’ll love my husband unconditionally. 4. I will act the way I want to feel. 5. Respecting my husband brings glory to God. 6. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. 7. A Source of power is readily available to help me! 8. My joy is not determined by another human being. AWESOME BOOK!
  • His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley Jr. – EXCELLENT book for husbands and wives. But – I would recommend wives only read the part about husbands’ needs if things aren’t going well in your marriage. Any time you read about what husbands “should” be doing, it’s likely to make you feel resentful. Best to concentrate on your side of things! “Building an Affair Proof Marriage” Written by a Christian marriage counselor who realized in the 70s that counseling was NOT working and people were getting divorced because they lost their feeling of being in love. He spent years researching what couples needed and what worked. Very practical book. He is the one who came up with the concept of a “love bank.” The needs husbands can’t do without: 1. Sexual fulfillment 2. Recreational Companionship 3. Physical Attractiveness 4. Domestic Support (peace and quiet) 5. Admiration He also describes how to survive an affair and why people are tempted to get involved in affairs. EXCELLENT RESOURCE!

I actually read many more than just these – but these have been the best in my view.

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