Time to Nip that Relationship ASAP!

Posted on November 29, 2012 by


SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN TOO DEEP WITH A MARRIED/UNAVAILABLE MAN OR UNBELIEVER:

  • you get butterflies in your stomach if you know you might see him
  • you think about him often
  • you imagine what life would be like with him and daydream about him
  • you pay extra attention to your wardrobe/hair/make-up if you think you might see him that day
  • you want to  (or you actually DO) call him/text him/FB message him/email him privately
  • you really enjoy being around him
  • you find yourself wanting to hide things (or hiding things) from your coworkers/family/friends about your relationship and contact with this man
  • you smile constantly when he’s in the room
  • you go out of your way to try to run into him
  • you want to share big news with him before you want to tell anyone else
  • you like it when he looks at you and flirts with you
  • you feel like he “really understands” you
  • you want to confide all your feelings and thoughts to him
  • you begin to depend on his emotional connection and sharing
  • you know your feelings are out of control for him
  • you “feel loved” by him
  • you feel anxiety about him

SIGNS THAT A MAN IS DANGEROUS FOR YOU:

  • your parents/boyfriend/fiance ask you not to talk to the guy or see this other guy anymore
  • he flirts with you a lot
  • he gives you frequent compliments
  • he puts your boyfriend/fiance down or says, “If I were your man, I’d do X!”
  • he subtly begins to try to “control” you – to tell you how he wants you to dress, wear your hair, who you talk to or what you do
  • he demands your time and attention
  • he gets really offended if you don’t call/message/email/text/visit/respond
  • when you get nervous that things may be going too far, he pulls back and insists calmly, “We’re just friends!  Everything’s cool!”
  • he seems so interested in hearing about God and the gospel but only wants to hear about it in private and doesn’t want to talk to a man about God – only YOU.
  • he makes it clear that he intends to be with you romantically
  • he doesn’t respect your boyfriend/fiance
  • he tries to isolate you
  • he wants to “counsel” you or “guide” you in your life and in your marriage as if he has wisdom to offer and you are his “student.”
  • he wants you to be willing to sin to be with him or for him
  • he is telling other people about his sexual plans for you
  • he talks about sexual things with you
  • he touches you/hugs you or worse
  • he tries to get you alone and tells you nothing is wrong with your relationship with him
  • he tries to convince you that adultery/fornication is not sin in this case – you and he are the exception
  • he undermines God’s Word
  • he gets aggressive, sexual or violent with you
  • other people comment on the inappropriateness of your relationship with this man
  • gossip is spreading about you and this man

I Corinthians 6:18-20 is REALLY clear about what God desires me to do in these situations:

Flee from sexual immorality.  All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body.

GUARD YOUR HEART AND MARRIAGE!!!

  • immediately cut off all contact with this man (enlist help from your boyfriend, a godly friend, your boss, church leaders – if necessary)
  • if you work with him, try to change schedules or stores if possible so that you are not with him at all (whenever possible – if it is up to  you – try not to work with men!)
  • if you go to church with him, you may need to consider changing churches
  • block him on FB
  • stop all calls/texts/emails completely – change your number and email if necessary
  • if you have to see him, tell him you can’t talk to him/be friends/have a relationship anymore – that it is not appropriate – BUT the more you try to talk, you give him more opportunities to squeeze back into your life and heart.  Sometimes it is just better to flee!
  • talk with a godly older woman who can help pray with you
  • spend lots of time in God’s Word
  • seek to be sensitive to God’s Spirit and His conviction of any sin on your part
  • REPENT!  Turn from your own way to God’s way with all your heart.
  • focus on Jesus being LORD of everything in your life

If you didn’t read yesterday’s post “Flirting with the Enemy” – you may want to check it out!

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