Thank You, God, for a Husband Who Is Willing to Tell Me the Hard Stuff
My husband shocked me one night this week when he told me about some bitterness that he saw in me that I totally thought I had resolved. At first, I was speechless. I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to say that I had totally taken care of all of that and that he was surely mistaken. It was about some very old issues that I thought I had laid to rest.
Then, I decided to listen to my husband’s wisdom and not argue. Maybe God is speaking to me here through my husband’s leadership. I better be careful not to quickly dismiss something if my husband sees it. So, I thought some more and realized – you know, maybe he’s right. Maybe he can see something I can’t see.
YUCK.
I don’t LIKE being called out on my sin! But – I am a pretty experienced sinner and I have a long history of deceiving myself – so I decided to really think and pray about what he said. And, I soon realized – HE WAS RIGHT!
I am SO thankful that my husband had the courage to tell me what he saw. I need a man like that! I have blind spots. What a blessing his leadership is to me!
Thankfully, I think it was a small root – and God helped me yank the whole nasty mess out within a few days. But if I leave even the smallest little piece, it will be back!
I want to really search out everything about bitterness and forgiveness and get to the bottom of the root so God can help us tear the whole root out and we won’t continue to be stuck with the debilitating consequences of bitterness in our lives. I am on a crusade to end bitterness – with God’s Spirit and truth working in us!
WHAT IS BITTERNESS?
It is a hanging on to wrongs suffered. It is holding on to anger. It is a desire for revenge or justice against the one who has wronged us. It is a refusal to forgive.
We all have many reasons to be bitter. We all have family members, siblings, husbands, friends, church members, neighbors, in-laws, coworkers and random strangers who are sinners who have sinned against us. It is not wrong to be angry when we are sinned against – but, in our anger we are not to sin.
Bitterness and unforgiveness is HUGE sin. In Matthew 18, Jesus talks about a servant who owed his master millions of dollars and the master forgave him and had mercy on him. Then the same servant refused to forgive his fellow slave who owed him a small amount of money. The master said to the unforgiving servant, “You WICKED slave, I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, even as I had mercy on you?”
Bitterness/unforgiveness = wickedness
Bitterness and unforgiveness are MY problem. It shows a faulty understanding on my part of God’s character and sovereignty. It also shows my character and reveals any area that I am lacking the power of God’s Spirit.. There is no exception given to us where we are exempt from the command to forgive those who sin against us.
MANY of you have had to forgive MUCH MORE than I ever have. But we are all commanded to forgive, regardless of the wounds we have suffered. None of us can do this on our own. We need the power of God’s Spirit to do this!
It only takes the SMALLEST amount of bitterness to grow into a huge, destructive tree that produces deadly fruit and poison in my life.
WHY IS BITTERNESS WRONG?
- Jesus commands us to forgive so that God will forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15).
- it is a gateway sin that leads to MANY other sins.
- God commands us “not to grieve the Holy Spirit of God… Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” Ephesians 4:30-31
- “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15 Bitterness cannot lead to holiness. It cannot lead to peace. It also defiles MANY. One person’s bitterness spreads like poison among many.
- “‘In your anger do not sin.’ Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26. Holding on to anger, nursing a grudge – creates a place for Satan to enter into our souls and lives. Even holding on to anger over night creates a place for Satan to attack and hang onto us. Bitterness is progressive. It is a process. It grows over time given a nurturing environment. It spreads and becomes stronger and begins to consume our whole lives.
FROM THE EXCELLENT WIFE by MARTHA PEACE…(this is an awesome section on bitterness!)
Common Signs of Bitterness
1. Gossip and Slander
Gossip and bitterness defile many other people. YIKES!
2. Ungrateful and Complaining
3. Judges motives
4. Self-Centered – victim
5. Excessive Sorrow
6. Vengeful – looks for ways to avoid person. Leaves, pouts, gives the cold shoulder
7. Brooding – plays the wrong suffered over and over
8. Loss of joy – sin of bitterness> intense emotional pain and misery
9. A critical, judgmental attitude – focus on what other did wrong, not self
The doctrine of bitterness
– it grows when you take into account a wrong suffered. Thinking about the bad thing feeds bitterness. dwelling on the wrong suffered greatly intensifies emotional pain, making it seemingly unbearable at times
no strength, no happiness, no peace, no hope. The emotional pain intensifies and sin will likely begin to multiply
– more sinful thoughts, anger, wrath, clamor, slander and possibly malice. At this point, the other will be unable to do anything right in your eyes, even if they are trying.
– bitterness hurts your children
bitter feelings improve as you clear your conscience and begin to make second mile investments
– doing something extra special nice for the person, going above and beyond the call of duty.
– don’t return evil for evil but give a blessing instead
– the more intense your hurt, the greater the need to give blessings instead – eventually your emotional pain will abate and in the meantime you will be glorifying God immensely if your motive is to obey and please God.
– put off the bitterness by putting on kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving thoughts Ephes 4:31-32
– keep a brief log of your bitter thoughts. each time you feel hurt or resentful, write down your thoughts word for word. Then take the time to go over each thought and convert it to a kind, tender-hearted or forgiving thought. Take each thought captive in obedience to Christ.
Forgiveness and trust are not the same thing.
Bitterness destroys love. It stirs up overwhelming hurt feelings. T he sin of bitterness spreads and hurts other people. It is, foremost, a grievous sin against God. The key to repenting of bitterness is to take every thought captive, replace those bitter thoughts with kind, tender-hearted and forgiving thoughts and go the second mile. Truly there is nothing that your husband has done that you cannot forgive, If your husband is not trustworthy, he can re-earn your trust. Regardless of whether your husband is a failure before God, you do not have to be.
I used to try to get rid of my bitter thoughts, but didn’t understand that I needed to REPLACE them with kind, tender-hearted, forgiving thoughts. No wonder I struggled so much for so long!
SOME PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS FROM MYSELF AND SOME OF MY PRAYER PARTNERS AND READERS:
Causes of Bitterness –
- PRIDE, PRIDE, PRIDE – I am better than that person. I am more spiritual. I am more mature. I would handle things so much better than they did. I would NEVER do X like they did. I don’t deserve what happened to me. How dare that person treat ME that way
- unmet expectations
- idolatry of someone’s approval – then when they don’t approve or try to control, we are UPSET.
- idolatry of self
- trying to control others instead of allowing them to be responsible for their own decisions and emotions (idolatry of self)
- trying to make other people responsible for my emotions, happiness and contentment (idolatry) instead of setting my heart on Christ
- being different from another person and not understanding where he/she is coming from
- being sinned against but handling my resulting anger sinfully – or undealt with sin against me
- disobeying God’s Word for handling conflict in a godly manner (not lovingly confronting someone when they sin against me, trying to ignore it. Sin CANNOT be ignored! It must be paid for! I have to pay for it, or they have to pay for it – or, if I am in Christ, His blood and sacrificial death can pay for it. But it will hurt.)
- selfishness
- unforgiveness – cherishing my anger more than my relationship with Christ and His forgiveness of me
- jealousy
Signs of Bitterness
- feeling tense about that person, anxiety about seeing them
- depression, insomnia (if you are thinking and thinking and obsessing about the wrong suffered) – other things can cause depression or insomnia, too, but bitterness alone can be a cause, or it can be a contributing factor.
- DISRESPECT
- broken, dysfunctional relationships
- chronic pain can be a sign of bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment and can be made worse by lack of forgiveness. Bitterness changes our body chemistry and makes us more sensitive to pain, it also reduces our immune system measurably and makes us more prone to infections. The increased cortisol and adrenaline can cause a host of illnesses- headaches, ulcers, insomnia, irritability, heart problems, increased blood pressure, digestion problems, IBS, and many more! (All of these health problems have possible other causes, too. But bitterness can contribute to or cause these things.)
- wanting to avoid the person
- wanting vengeance
- worry
- fear, lack of faith in God (without faith, it is impossible to please God!)
- wanting to gossip about the person
- not praying for the person
- replaying the wrong over and over
- making hateful jokes about the person, with a prideful attitude of superiority and conceit
- jealousy
- withholding physical intimacy (in marriage), withholding affection (in relationships with children/parents/extended family, refusing to hug or shake hands.
- refusal to smile at the person and greet them
- fear – fear of confrontation or fear the person won’t care about my feelings, fear of conflict or someone else’s control or abuse
- focus on person or self and not God’s character and sovereignty
- being annoyed by everything about the person
- hatred and evil intentions
Fruit of Bitterness
Bitterness starts out small, but grows and strengthens and can totally consume a person’s life. It leads to greater and greater sin and contaminates many others with its poison..
- hatred, malice, contempt, rage, plotting evil, major disrespect, screaming, cussing, yelling, hateful words, destruction of relationships, resentment, wanting the person to be dead, violence, murder, war
- gossip, slander
- separation, divorce (bitterness is not always the cause of these things, but it is often a huge part of the cause)
- adultery (out of a desire for revenge, or because bitterness causes a spouse to withhold sex from the other, this can lead to temptations for both spouses)
- anxiety, worry, overwhelming fear, dread, depression, possibly even suicide if left unchecked
- pride, arrogance, condemnations, judging the other with evil thoughts
- a critical spirit, complaining, arguing, discontent, lack of gratitude
- division, disunity, factions, arguing, fighting, yelling, loss of self-control, loss of temper
- idolatry of self/pride/anger/bitterness/unmet expectations
- an inability to put any faith or trust in the person, vilification of the person
- lying, dishonesty, deception
- jealousy
- feuds, bullying
- a seared conscience eventually, that can no longer hear God’s voice
- vengeance and revenge, wanting to make the person pay, not depending on God to handle justice and vengeance
- a desire to take anything good from the person, stealing, arson, attempting to sabotage the person and his/her livelihood/income.
- separation from God, the grieving of God’s Spirit, the loss of God’s power and all of the fruit of the Spirit – no joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.
- a huge stronghold of Satan, sin and the flesh
- attempts to cause other family members, friends, coworkers, church members to hate and turn on the person, also
- total loss of influence and witness for Christ, smearing the name of Christ in filth (if we claim to be His followers), others may be turned away from the gospel, especially our spouse and children
WE ARE JUST SCRATCHING THE SURFACE ON THE TOPIC OF BITTERNESS!
You are welcome to leave comments, insights, wisdom and resources that have been helpful for you on this topic!
We will explore more about overcoming bitterness and unforgiveness and how to begin the process of forgiveness with God’s power in the next few posts!
I am praying God will release us all COMPLETELY from every trace of bitterness that we might live in His glorious light, freedom, truth, peace and joy! He is perfectly able to give us complete victory over bitterness and empower us to forgive as He does!
RELATED:
Bitterness is Toxic and Contagious
Finding God’s Victory Over Bitterness
Natalie
December 11, 2012
Beautifully written. I have recognized that bitterness has been all too prevalent in my life and I’m going to pray on this topic. I want to be loving And forgiving and not bitter anymore. God is working miracles in my relationships & for that I’m grateful!
peacefulwife
December 11, 2012
Natalie,
Thanks for sharing your heart! I know this is something we all struggle with. God revealed some hidden bitterness in my heart last week. It only takes a tiny bit to begin to grow and cause damage. It feels SO amazing to be free of that – what a mighty God we serve that He can give us victory over every sin. May God richly bless your walk with Him and empower you to forgive as He does! I can’t wait to hear what He has in store for you!
RG
January 29, 2014
April,
One big sign of bitterness is over-generalizing the sins of one or a few onto the many.
It labels ALL men or ALL women guilty (and might seek to punish them as personal justice) because of the sins of a few. So, when one person sinned against or offended you in the past, it is now assumed to be because ALL men or ALL women are like that. The difficulty with this is that there often are many similarities in the sinful behavior of most men or most women, but we shouldn’t treat someone as guilty until they actually prove themselves guilty. They should not be considered guilty by association alone (ie: because they are a man or a woman). If, upfront, we treat someone like they are already guilty, then we are over-generalizing them (not treating them as an innocent, new, unique person) and likely sinning against them.
This is something Feminism does by labeling ALL men guilty (then encouraging the pursuit of personal justice) because of the sins of a few, even if some of those few died 100 years ago. Feminism says that all men are guilty by association, and so all men must now pay the price for any/all perceived injustices against women in the past, no matter by whom or how long ago they occurred. Feminism self-perpetuates this over-generalization and presumption of guilt by association to ALL men by TRAINING women to harbor bitterness against ALL men, and thus TEACHING women to sin against all men as a result. Men are often sinned against because FEMINISM won’t allow women to think about or treat men as innocent, new, unique people. FEMINISM only knows how to over-generalize the presumption of guilt onto the many.
Jonathan F.
February 8, 2014
I know you’re focusing on women as the focus here, but bitterness I can’t shake. I keep praying. I’m gonna keep trying
peacefulwife
February 8, 2014
Jonathan,
Want to talk about it? It is ok if you would like to. 🙂
Jonathan F.
February 8, 2014
We can. I don’t know if it’s pride, but I feel like as men we shouldn’t be seeking help from a website for women, lol how are we ever supposed to lead or be the head? I am not against getting help though. I’m trying to suck it up and be strong. And I think what it is, is my drinking. When I drink, even a little bit I sometimes have little thoughts that creep in, I get angry and that bitterness says hello. There is a liquor store across the street and cute girls in my hotel where I’m typing this. So tempting to resist. Instead I’m writing down verses and saying no, even though I have no desire to read. It hurts my heart has slowly gotten this bad to think I would want to trade that over time with him. Over this last year, I drank,= little lies I slowly believed like steps down a latter= I started to doubt his goodness=lost trust= sinned, =hardened heart, =bitter and miserable.
I have found more pages devoted for specifically guys, your page despite being for women can help so many, especially the forgiveness and bitterness ones. A guy told me
http://www.jesusadventismandi.com/2013/04/the-god-who-chases-my-personal-testimony.html?m=1
Me:Marcos one last thing, I struggle with believing and really trusting Gods best is what I will like most. I believe his way is the best way, but I struggle to believe I will like it the most, I will feel disapointed in a way, Ill only get 2nd best from God. Because Maybe my desires are too strong for what I want. I have no garauntee that I will like what God gives me. Its kind of dumb, I know. But its what the enemy has gotten me to believe. Im gonna try and take to heart what you said about God knows what we want, Holy and happy. just not one or the other. Its just too hard to trust God, I dont know how. Im very happy for you though
Reply:
“Jonathan, what you wrestle with is no strange thing. All of us wrestle with whether or not to trust God. The reason why is simple: Satan tells lies about God. From the very beginning the war between good and evil has centered around lies about God. Just look at the following text and pay special attention to the serpents words:
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
Did you notice what the serpent did? First he threw doubt on Gods word, “Did he really say..?” Then he called him a liar, “You will not surely die” and finally he made him out to be a God who is withholding or keeping something good from Eve. “He doesn’t want you to eat the fruit because he is trying to keep you under his thumb!” is basically what the serpent says.
In other words, sin was introduced to this world, not by force, but by lies. Lies about God break our trust in him. And Satan loves to spread lies about God. The idea that, if you put your love life in Gods hands he will give you second best is just that: a lie about God.
Honestly, since when does God want second best for everyone? Find me one instance in the Bible where he gave someone second best. Contrary, everyone who trusted in him not only got the best here, but they also have an eternity in heaven: second best? hardly.
Lies about God are part of the reason why Jesus came to this world. He came to reveal to us what God was really like and dispel the lies. He said, “If you have seen me you have seen the father.” Think about it. If you asked Jesus to give you a wife, would he give you second best? Or is it just God the Father you are worried about? No need to worry, Jesus and the Father are one and the same. Look at the cross of Calvary. Would the Jesus who gave his life for you (the best he could offer) turn around and give you second best? Jesus himself said:
And of which of you that is a father shall his son ask a loaf, and he give him a stone? or a fish, and he for a fish give him a serpent? 12 Or [if] he shall ask an egg, will he give him a scorpion? 13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall [your] heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? (Luk. 11)
And Paul said,
He didn’t spare his own Son but gave him up for us all. Won’t he also freely give us all things with him? (Rom. 8:32)
God doesn’t want second best for you dude. That’s a lie of the devil and by Gods grace, you have to overcome that lie. I used to feel the same way and tried running life my own way until I finally discovered that my life was full of second best even though I thought I was going for first best. From that day onward I decided to trust God, and though it hasn’t been easy, he never disappoints me. ”
Blessings,
Marcos
So, I got tricked believing God wasn’t best, or I somehow wouldn’t like it. BUT, if his best is truly amaZing and he truly wants good things it’s almost too good to be true! That’s a lie right there. But I’ll get alone, tell God I trust him (but my heart can’t mean it, no matter how hard I force it.) I started crying at this stronghold in my mind. Gods best is in everyway better. I believe this thought that God will put me with someone just okay, to make me more holy only and not happy. But! I’ve had guys say no that’s not entirely just it, my wife should captivate me and thrill me, she should be attractive to me inside and out. And it dawns on me I would be with someone anyways so it is a lie. I guess what I need to believe is Gods best IS best. I don’t know how. And I need to stop viewing women as objects and being concerned only about her looks. ( once these lies and drinking came in I got worse, and started getting so bitter and resentful) I pray and believe God will break it.
And I don’t have a Mom right now to talk to, and my dad doesn’t really have a heart for women either. I am finding spots in me like he was, breaks my heart. I travel so I have no church, or Christian friends let alone good influences around me. So that’s why I’m bugging so many people, this is as close as it gets about anything related to God.
I wanna be free and healed.
peacefulwife
February 8, 2014
Jonathan,
I can understand you would rather go to a man. I totally respect that. It sounds like you got some very sound counsel on the site you talked about. That is wonderful!
For many years, I trust self much more than God. I thought I was such a strong Christian, but I was full of anxiety and fear. I didn’t understand God’s sovereignty and lived as if I was sovereign and everything was entirely up to me. That was STRESSFUL!!!!! I couldn’t carry the weight of sovereignty.
I had to write down all the lies Satan had been feeding me, just like the ones you are talking about.
– God can’t really take care if you.
– If you totally trust Him, He’ll make you suffer and you will never have the marriage you want.
– God can’t lead you through your imperfect husband.
– God is not able to really keep His promises.
– If you trust Him, you won’t have control.
Of course, these were all lies.
And, I didn’t have control anyway. That was an illusion.
Finally, I had to come face to face with what I was actually doing and how sinful it was.
– I had SELF in the throne, not God – that is idolatry. There is no worse sin than that, except possibly for unbelief, which I was also committing constantly.
– I did not trust God, and really, didn’t believe His Word. So, I was really falling Him a liar.
– I cherished my sin more than Jesus. I didn’t want to give up my bitterness and idolatry. I liked it. It was terrifying to lay all I had and all my expectations, dreams, goals, plans, desires and everything before Jesus to let Him be LORD of my life. If He is LORD, I say, “Yes, Lord.” I cannot say no to Him! Not after He forgave me my mountain of pride, idolatry, unbelief, disrespect, disobedience, self-righteousness, addiction to control, fear, worry, resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness. I am the chief of sinners. There is no worse sinner on the panel than I am. And yet, Jesus’ blood was more than sufficient to cover every sin of mine. He took my bank account, that was in debt billions of dollars to God, and He poured all the riches of His bank account into my account and paid my debt in full.
It blows my mind that He can love me like that! He who has been forgiven much, loves much. I have been forgiven MUCH.
I had to decide. Is God who He says He is in the Bible or not? Do I believe His Word or not? Can I trust Him even if He allows me to go through my worst fears. Will His promises still stand if He did take away the things that were most important to me?
I had to wrestle through all of that and decide that I did trust Him and His Word. It was the most terrifying thing I had ever done, I felt like I was throwing myself off of a cliff. But I decided I need Him. I want Him. He is my only real need and I can’t do this without Him.
He took the garbage I “sacrificed” to Him and gave me treasures of heaven.
God knows how to give good gifts to His children. His Word is true and trustworthy.
I pray you might be able to turn to Him and find this same freedom, joy and peace!! It is not too late. your sins are not too big for Him to forgive. He wants to give you a new spirit, a new self a new life.
Check out dying to self
I pray you will find some strong, godly friends and a biblical church where you can plug in. And most of all, I pray for you to be able to experience the fruit of God’s spirit in your life and the abundant life he has waiting for you – abundant spiritual life.
With the love of Christ,
April
Jonathan F.
February 8, 2014
You are my elder, so you do have more wisdom then me, woman or not. Thank you very much. (I’ll cut down on the comments, last one! )
I believe I try so hard to be in control, but God really is. And it is scary trusting God with it all, I’m gonna have to believe he can handle all areas like my dreams and goals and have better in store for me, he is not second best in any category. I’ll keep thinking and have faith over the fear and lies.
And I thought you should know, right before I God your email I was in the middle of reading, when randomly I felt something was getting my attention. I thought of Jesus, on the cross, and pure pure Love was the sweeping feeling. Instantly started choking up right in the lobby and got the impression “I will be blessed.” Then boom, email in inbox. I have peace and am so happy. Your prayer I know was why 100% it happened. Thank you so much. I’m gonna trust God is God, he IS Love and has only good things that are 1st, not average or 2nd from what I need.
Thank you
peacefulwife
February 8, 2014
Jonathan,
Wow! you know how to make my day, 🙂
What God is doing in your heart is so beautiful, my brother!!!!
You are welcome to comment here on this post. It’s ok. 🙂
I am so excited to see what God has in store for you. Please let me know how you are doing!
With the love of Christ,
April
peacefulwife
February 8, 2014
Jonathan,
PS
God will change your desires to match His own, and then He will give you the desires of your heart, which are also the things He desires. Doing things His way brings such joy and peace. I am glad you got a taste of that tonight.
Jonathan F.
February 8, 2014
I used to be a lot closer to God, when I was super close I wasn’t even worried about any girl, or money. Just so happy to be in his presence. But it’s been a while, honeymoon phase wore off. It was awesome to have a flashback of his love and get an answer. You should feel awesome :]
And yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of, I feel like they won’t be mine, just his. But! I gotta stop giving into that mindset.
Once praying, I felt like he adds more, he doesn’t take them away or make them any less. He over delivers, not under delivers.
I told him I will trust him and I surrender. If I already knew what was coming it wouldn’t be trust and there is no hope in things that are seen. He is good and doesn’t change. I’m scared a little, but I need to trust already. Scared a lot. I always look for success stories of people who have trusted to ease it. Thank you for listening.
Jonathan F.
February 8, 2014
One guy put it this way:
I have believed for a long time that in order to find a spouse, you don’t go looking for a spouse; your future mate is wrapped up in the heart of God. Seek HIS heart, and you will find the treasures He has in His heart for you.
What if, in the heart of God, there is the perfect job, just for me, hidden away there? What if, in order to find this job, I must plunge deep into Him, delight in Him, know His heart, and discover a deeper intimacy with him?
If that’s how God is, I can’t wait!
peacefulwife
February 9, 2014
Jonathan,
I think you are heading in the right direction. God has purposes for your life that He desires to accomplish for His kingdom. Being in the center of His will is the most fulfilling, exciting, wonderful place in the world. As long as you have Him and are abiding in Him – He will direct your steps. 🙂
Jonathan F.
February 9, 2014
Thank you for being so patient with me and actually listening to my responses. Some of the lies that you said you believe are some of the same ones that I struggle with.
As soon as I proclaim I have surrendered, a feeling like well your life is gonna be one big trial now, God only cares about your eternal glory so it’s gonna be tough.
I have no one else for me, scary but even if it’s true, I gotta trust anyways. Was it worth it??? I hope my marriage or life won’t be miserable or any less, but I’ve trusted God, even if I’m sick to my stomach it’s just a lie right?
peacefulwife
February 9, 2014
Jonathan,
These are the lies almost everybody struggles with.
It feels so scary to let go of control, but – you didn’t actually have control before. It feels like things will fall apart. It is easy to think -God is going to kill everyone I love and give me the worst life ever. But – that voice is the enemy. God gives good gifts to His children. It is impossible for Him to lie and it is impossible for Him to have evil motives and it is impossible for Him not to love you and do what is ultimately best. As you study His nature, His character and His sovereignty, you will find He is completely trustworthy and probably kick yourself for ever doubting. 🙂
Check out David Platt’s YouTube sermon “Who Is God.”I would invite to all of his sermons you can, and John Piper’s. And as you stay in God’s Word and seek Him with all your heart – he will show you more and more of Himself. Eventually, you will realize that He is all you need. Nothing else really matters. It is all garbage next to Him.
I used to trace both hands palms up on a piece of paper and write down all the parts of my life on the fingers and lay it before Him – letting go and allowing Him to do what He believes is best. Eventually, you can pray with total conviction about everything – Not my will, but Yours be done.
If you would like, you can search http://www.peacefulwife.com for
Dying to self
Idol
Control
Insecurity
Security
Contentment
Worry
🙂
peacefulwife
February 9, 2014
Oh!
Was it worth it?????
I sure wouldn’t be blogging about it if it wasn’t!
Once I trusted and committed to obey God – He changed my heart, my thoughts, my life. He fills me with overwhelming peace and joy that I never experienced before. The most addictive thing ever! In a good way. Now, I have the marriage I wanted, I am (through God’s power) more and more the woman I wanted to be. Our children are better behaved. Our family is closer. God is directing my ministry and has changed thousands of people’s lives through me. Totally a God thing, not an April thing. It is the most fulfilling life! I could die today without any regrets. I am totally content in Him. I may have to suffer greatly in the future. I am ok with that. As long as it is for God’s glory – and Ge stays with me, I am not afraid. He is my need. I trust Him to provide for my physical needs and to take care of those I love and to know what is best. His wisdom is infinitely higher than mine. I do not know what is best. He does.
Jonathan F.
February 9, 2014
I agree! I know I need to deny myself, submit, surrender, and obey. Which is repentance?? I don’t have a genuine heart change though
I am not sorry for my sin which sucks to admit. Someone told me repentance is a change of heart where you want to obey God out of Love, but I don’t have that. I am hoping obeying even though my flesh can’t stand it, and praying for help for a heart change helps.
peacefulwife
February 9, 2014
Jonathan,
I am glad you know this is how you feel. Why do you think you are not sorry for your sin? Do you agree that your sins fall short of God’s glory and that they cause you to deserve judgment, condemnation and damnation in God’s holy eyes?
peacefulwife
February 9, 2014
Repentance is agreeing with God that our sin is evil and deserves condemnation and God’s righteous punishment and that we deserve nothing good from God. But then we consciously turn from our sin and to Christ. It is more a matter of the will than feelings. However, I believe that part of repentance involves a deep mourning over our sin and how our sin has grieved the heart of God and a sober realization of just how much our sin cost Jesus.
Jonathan F.
February 9, 2014
Btw, that comment about it being worth it is completely awesome. I want that so much.
But, there is another side. I know you’re right, I do fall short. I guess I need to be humbled.
Jonathan F.
February 9, 2014
Yeah I need to stop focusing on me so much and more on Jesus. I did truthfully surrender to him yesterday. Now I just gotta keep obeying. Thank you.
peacefulwife
February 9, 2014
Obedience comes first, feelings later. 🙂