Benefits of Sex Outside of Marriage vs Costs of Sex Outside Marriage

Posted on December 24, 2012 by


  • It feels good right now (sometimes – other times it can actually be quite painful).
  • It’s easier to give in than to stand up for yourself (at first).
  • You don’t have to wait at all!
  • You’ll be more like “everyone” else.
  • Satan will be really happy.
  • There are more guys to choose from to date when you don’t have sexual or spiritual standards.

COST OF SEX (including oral sex) OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE 

DISEASES (as a pharmacist – I see these things every day.  When I worked at the student health center of a major university, the number of STDs we were treating each day was staggering.  19 million people are infected every year in the USA with STDs.  MANY, MANY guys (including teenagers) have STDs – of course, girls do, too!  Some of them know it and won’t tell you.  Some don’t know they have it yet, but are still contagious.  If you are an adult, or if you have your parents’ permission, check out some pictures of STD galleries and just see what kind of future is in store for those who suffer from some of these awful diseases.  IT ISN’T PRETTY.

  • HIV/AIDS – costs usually thousands of dollars/month to treat, and there is no cure, and any future sexual partner you have will likely get it too, as well as future children, it may be fatal.
  • Genital warts – there is no certain cure for this.  The warts get bigger and bigger around the outside and inside of the vagina and surrounding area.  They are VERY painful.  The cream to treat this usually costs between $300-$700/month
  • Syphilis – if untreated, this disease will actually cause people to go insane decades later.
  • Gonorrhea/chlamydia – treatable with antibiotics, but can cause fertility impairment.
  • Genital Herpes (many of these diseases can also cause infections in the mouth and throat) – there are expensive drugs that can keep outbreaks down to a degree, but those who are infected are contagious for the rest of their lives – even if they are treated medically.  There is no cure.  This virus increases the risk of cervical cancer.  There is a vaccine now that may prevent this disease to a large degree.  But it is not 100% effective.
  • Many STDs can cause infertility and it isn’t until a girl is married and trying to get pregnant that she finds out she had contracted an STD when she was younger that will make it impossible to have the child of her dreams.
  • There are others, too – but all of them are painful, nasty, embarrassing and have long term consequences that are SOOOOOOO NOT WORTH IT!

PREGNANCY – Being a teenager or single mother and having a baby is EXTREMELY difficult.  Being pregnant when you are married and stable and 28 years old can be a huge challenge  – even when it is a joyous occasion.  But to have to carry your child alone, maybe without financial or emotional support from your baby’s father  (ever) is extremely hard.  Worrying about your baby’s future, and how you will provide for him/her and if you can make things work with the dad – things get VERY complicated and painful very quickly.  Many dads bail out and don’t help at all.  Being a mom is not something to purposely attempt on your own!  You NEED a godly man to be your husband and father for your children – it works infinitely better this way!  God’s design is for children to be born in a loving, godly marriage and to have an intact family all their lives.

If you do find yourself pregnant and unmarried – please find help at church or a Christian crisis pregnancy center!  Please continue your pregnancy!  God values your baby as a precious human life.  ALL CHILDREN ARE BLESSINGS.  Please do not abort your baby and then have the cost of abortion on your conscience the rest of your life – the guilt from killing your own child would be overwhelming!  Many women NEVER forgive themselves and suffer extreme spiritual and emotional consequences for the rest of their lives.  God can forgive abortion and sex outside of marriage.  If you have already gone down that path – He offers grace, forgiveness and a new life to you!  There is grace, hope, healing and forgiveness!  But how much better to avoid those things to begin with!

Once you give your body away, that lose that precious innocence, purity virginity of virginity forever.  It can never be restored.  Physically there are no second chances.


Men want to get married because it is what they think is the right thing for them to do.  If you try to force them into marrying you – they WILL ultimately resent you.  Having a baby together does create a bond – but if you have a resentful, angry, bitter man on the other end of that bond – it is not going to be the intimate, connected, romantic marriage that you are dreaming of.  You will either have a very angry husband on your hands, or one who stonewalls you out of his heart.  This is a recipe for disaster!


  • Dating guys who are not willing to wait for marriage to have sex with you means that you end up dating guys who are NOT looking out for your best interests, for your emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual well-being.  These kinds of guys are much more likely to hurt you and not really care.
  • God designed sex to be a “one flesh” relationship in marriage.  It also has a profound spiritual bonding that makes you “one spirit” that helps hold marriage together.  But if you have sex outside of marriage, you will have that neurochemical bonding (because of the hormone oxytocin) with the guy you sleep with.  Unfortunately, guys don’t bond as much through “casual” sex like girls do, they bond over a long period of time.  So while you feel spiritually and emotionally connected to this guy because of the oxytocin levels you have in your brain (and the way God designed your feminine spirit) from being sexually active with him, he may not have bonded to you at all and have no problem leaving you for someone else.  The pain is INFINITELY WORSE when there is a breakup if there was sex involved.  Sex is meant to say, “We’re going to be together for life.”  God made it that way.  A girl NEEDS a lifetime commitment from a guy in marriage in order to give him sex or she will be severely emotionally wounded and scarred.
  • The more partners you have, the more baggage you bring to each new relationship.  You will compare other guys to your current guy and that can make things very complicated, too.  And your new boyfriend may feel angry when he finds out all the things you have done with your old boyfriends.  Imagine what your husband will feel when you have to tell him your entire sexual history.  Imagine having to tell him about STDs or past pregnancies.
  • Being sexually active before marriage can make a girl feel like sex is “dirty.”  Some girls feel this way even if they haven’t been sexually active because they never learned God’s design for sex and how good it is inside marriage.  But sexual activity before marriage can make some women have a hard time with sexual activity after marriage (especially if she was abused).
  • There may be a child from your sexual past that you must consider in all of your future relationships.  It’s a lot harder to find a great guy to marry when you already have a child or children – and it adds many more difficult issues to your list of concerns as you choose a potential husband.  Step children often have a much harder time respecting a step-parent than a biological parent and accepting discipline from them – and the strain of blended families make those marriages much more likely to fail.  Thankfully, with God, all things are possible.  But if you can avoid this situation, please do!


  • Any sin separates you from God.
  • Sex spiritually bonds you to your partner.  God designed this to only occur in marriage.  But there will be a piece of your soul that is torn out, broken and permanently damaged when you have sex with a guy you aren’t married to.
  • There must be repentance and a turning back toward Jesus for healing – it can be a long, slow process.
  • God designed sex to be part of the one flesh relationship in marriage to portray the spiritual oneness of Christ and His body – the church.  Sex is a sacred and holy act.
  • Your sexuality and virginity is the MOST precious gift God has given to you as a woman outside of salvation.  Please cherish it and use it as God designed so that you can have the most peaceful, blessed, joyful, fulfilled, burden-free life possible!
  • Once you go down the path of sexual sin, it is EXTREMELY hard to stay pure.  The feelings of guilt and shame can be overwhelming.  And it is very easy to slide right back down that slope again.  Christ can bring you healing and restoration.  But it is a painful, long, difficult process.
  • Having had sex in the past could make you less desirable to a godly guy who might be a really terrific husband.  You’ll have to find a guy who can forgive your past, too.  And that IS possible.  You may be in the position of having to forgive your future husband for past sexual sin, also.  And that will be a very challenging thing to have to do.
  • You’ll have to face your children one day wishing you had set a godly example for them, asking them not to follow in your footsteps.