Ladies,
I wore my hair long all through high school, college and until I had children. My husband always LOVED my hair long. Then 7-10 years ago, I cut my hair much shorter
I knew my husband LOVED my hair long. But, back then, sadly, I didn’t give much weight to his feelings and opinions. It was MY hair, after all. I was the one who had to wear it, wash it and fix it. So I cut it off -VERY short at one point with complete disregard for my husband’s feelings. (And then I cried a lot – because I realized I lost something precious.)
IS SHORT HAIR WRONG?
I don’t think that short hair on women is a sin – I find no validation for that idea in scripture. This is a decision every woman must make on her own – between herself and God, and between herself and her husband when she is married. I am certainly not insisting that all women must have long hair – or that women should never ever cut their hair. I don’t judge any one else’s decisions about their hair or clothing.
This post is about why I chose to grow my hair long again and why I keep it long – my own personal convictions.
I see that God gave me long hair for my glory – to be beautiful.
I Cor. 11:15. But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE
So, I honor my husband’s desire to see me with long hair. I care deeply about his feelings and opinions now and love to wear my hair down as a gift to him most days. And I honor God’s Word and honor my head by choosing to have long hair as my glory.
Now – God’s Word and my husband’s opinions play a MUCH bigger role in how I make decisions – instead of just my own convenience, the latest fashion trends or my own desires.
I have to ask myself when I decide about things – WHY am I doing it? Is it for MY glory? Is it for MY pride or vanity? Is it for God’s glory? Will it honor my husband? Will my husband be pleased?
Honestly – short hair was a LOT more work for me! I had to mess with it and style it every day. Long hair truly hasn’t been a burden. I can let it air dry many days – and I don’t have to use hair spray – so it can go 2-3 days or so without washing. It actually takes me LESS time to fix my hair now than it did when I had short hair.
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT HAVING LONG HAIR
My husband loves to play with my hair every night while we cuddle together. It’s my favorite time of the day. I feel loved, cherished, adored, feminine and beautiful.
kyotoredbird
April 17, 2013
If your husband loves you, he should love you for more than your hair. If he can’t be attracted to you because the collection of dead cells that forms on your scalp doesn’t meet a certain length, if it torture for him to be married to a short haired woman, then you have deeper issues in your marriage. I am fortunate to have a husband who recognizes that my hair is my hair, I may do with it as I wish ( as long as I don’t change the color; I’m a redhead, or shave it off), and he will find me attractive no matter what. He has actually told me he prefers it short! I truly, TRULY believe, as a woman who is currently sporting a pixie cut, that there is so much more to femininity than hair. Hair is something that people give far too much weight to when evaluating a woman’s feminine identity.
peacefulwife
April 17, 2013
Kyotoredbird,
My husband has NEVER said I couldn’t cut my hair. He loved me when my hair was short. 🙂 I have grown it out as a gift to him because he likes it long. Not because he pressured or coerced me or told me to grow it out. Some husbands do prefer their wives’ hair short – that is totally up to them to decide their preferences. Thanks for the comment!
strivingtogrow
April 29, 2013
I used to think the same way you do.
But my husband prefers when I have longer hair so I decided to please him – though of course he loved me in times when I cut my hair REALLY short.
The interesting thing is now I don’t grow my hair to be longer just because of my husband, I’ve come to realise I love when my hair is longer because:
1) I feel MORE feminine
2) it is more convenient for me for the same reasons Peasefulwife stated
peacefulwife
April 29, 2013
Thank you for sharing, Strivingtogrow!
Danielle
April 17, 2013
I have naturally brown hair and I had always disliked it. My brother was born with hazel colored eyes, blonde hair and a natural tan. He looks like a surfer! I’ve always felt that I was cursed with brown hair, brown eyes and pale white skin. It just seemed so boring to me. I wanted blonde hair! So a year ago I started dying it and dying it over and over until it got to the point where I had orange hair! Then I realized that I needed to bleach it in order for it to come out the light blonde that I wanted. Well that made it worse. By the time I figured out that God wanted me a brunette, not a blonde, it was too late. I had already bleached it and even dark hair dye wouldn’t cover it up. I had to cut it all off and now I’m waiting for it to grow back. I look at pictures of my natural brown hair and miss it. I can’t wait for it to grow a decent length.
God knows what he does when he creates us. Even though my hair is like 2 inches long, family members have noticed that my eyes stand out with my natural color. They have even mentioned that I look younger. (I’m 23 but they say I look 16 lol)
So I have finally accepted my brown hair and eyes and my pale skin. God made me this way and I should embrace that no matter what society says 🙂
So yeah I just wanted to share my story and warn others about these things. Embrace your natural beauty. Please don’t feel that you need a tan or a change or hair color to be beautiful.
You’re hair is so pretty by the way. How long did it take for it to grow that length?
peacefulwife
April 18, 2013
Danielle,
I made the mistake of doing highlights one time – and then realized that I would be a slave to dying my hair every 6 weeks. YUCK! I don’t use any dye at all now.
My hair was a bit under my chin 6.5 years ago. I have had it trimmed and cut a few inches during that time.
My twin sister dyed her hair blond multiple times – but I embrace being a brunette! 🙂 It’s much easier to accept what I have.
Thank you for sharing your story. I love being able to be comfortable and feel beautiful the way God made me and not try to change to fit in with society. That is what I would love for all the women of God to be able to do.
strivingtogrow
April 29, 2013
I agree that it is BEST to accept what God has given you. As for me, I love my curls =)
barbbrendan
April 18, 2013
I have been a respectful wife for 30 of our 32 years of marriage . I decided that I’d rather be happy than have my own way .so when it came to questions of hair make up and clothing I asked my husband what made him happy . I then made me happy by giving him what he wanted . Even now after all these years it gives me great joy When he tells me how beautiful I look my marriage has lasted 32 years I believe if I hadn’t let go and let God it would have ended many years ago
peacefulwife
April 18, 2013
Barbbrendan,
Thank you for sharing your wisdom. There is nothing like knowing your husband finds you attractive and beautiful – being able to give that gift definitely is a joy!
strivingtogrow
April 29, 2013
So true!!!
zairekrieger
April 27, 2013
Ya gotta be kiddin me right? Right?! So every woman who can’t grow long hair is supposedly less beautiful? I personally don’t feel to (again) be degraded to just my looks as a woman. Its pretty sad to see that beauty is still so important to us even though God commands us to not worry about our outward appearance.
peacefulwife
April 27, 2013
Zairekrieger,
I am not saying all women must have long hair. 🙂
I am giving MY reasons why I grow my hair long. My husband loves my hair long. And God’s Word says long hair is a woman’s glory. Long hair is not at all my focus in life. It is just a tiny little side note. But it is a gift I give to my husband.
I don’t see anywhere that short hair is a sin. Every woman may certainly wear her hair however she prefers.
God’s Word definitely gives more importance to the inner beauty of the heart – and says not to focus on outward beauty and expensive clothing and hairdos. I totally agree with that.
THanks for the comment!
strivingtogrow
April 29, 2013
…And AGAIN I agree with you, dear Peacefulwife!!!
observer
June 26, 2013
I wish I had beautiful thick hair! but I have very thin and limpy hair… which I don’t understand because I am otherwise healthy; healthy weight, healthy skin. For the most part I eat very healthy. Vegetables, fruit, fish, whole grains, lots of water, juicing with organic fruits and vegetables, but for some reason, my hair falls out and breaks easily… recently it has become an issue for me and it’s affecting my self-esteem. On the other hand, my boyfriend likes me with long or short hair, but I personally felt more attractive and feminine when I could grow my hair long and have it styled really nice.
peacefulwife
June 26, 2013
Observer,
That is frustrating!!! As a pharmacist, I have seen many women lose hair or develop brittle hair with some medications, or with low thyroid hormone. I have also seen a lot of women who use Pantene end up with easily breakable hair. Might mention it to your MD the next time you go. 🙂