My Best Advice about Attracting Godly Guys

Posted on April 27, 2013 by



I am not on the dating scene right now.  But it seems to me – looking in as a 3rd party – that the Christian dating culture is unbelievably chaotic, confusing and frustrating.   I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 16.  I had no strategy.  He started talking to me at a concert because he wondered if my identical twin sister and I were twins..  I was myself – friendly, personable, happy, smiling, interested in other people.  He asked for my phone number.  He started calling me every night.

I kind of wish it was that simple for everyone.

There are so many different books and strategies and philosophies out there on Christian singleness and dating and courtship – I am sure it could all easily be overwhelming.

Maybe it would be great to just get yourself out there.  Be friendly to everyone you meet.  Enjoy people.  Love them with the love of God.  Seek God first in everything.  Spend time in prayer and the Bible every day.  Be sensitive to God’s Spirit.  And enjoy each day and opportunity and make the most of the blessings you have.

In my view – the best strategy to attract a godly guy is this:

Seek God FIRST.  Be the woman of God’s dreams!

Focus on being a very godly, Spirit-filled, genuine Christ follower who puts Christ squarely first in your life.  If you are seeking to be full of God’s Spirit and the fruit of God’s Spirit is springing up in your life every day – that is attractive!  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

Focus on developing godly femininity – a gentle, peaceful spirit that does not give way to hysterical fear but trusts God’s sovereingty

Focus on learning to love people with a I Corinthians 13:4-8 kind of love

Focus on learning to not argue with people or complain so that you may shine like stars in the universe as you hold forth the Word of life.  (Philippians 2)

Focus on rejoicing in Christ, casting your anxieties upon Him, and being grateful and appreciative of all the good and all the blessings in your life (Philippians 4:4-8)

Focus on learning to respect, admire and encourage others.  Learn how to give verbal blessings and edification.  Learn how to use your words to build up others and never tear them down.

Learn to stop using your words for destruction – no more critical spirit, no yelling, no cussing, no screaming, no negative remarks, no coarse joking, no crass language, no lecturing, no scolding, no gossiping, no tearing others apart, no verbal attacks.

Focus on Jesus and on dying to yourself and living for Him and His purposes and His will and His glory.

Be busy about your Father’s work – doing the assignments He has given you.

Avoid self-pity – spend your time worshipping, loving, adoring and praising God.

Minister to others.  Use the spiritual gifts God has blessed you with!

Focus on the unity of the body of Christ.

Give to those who are in need, bless everyone around you.

Practice giving mercy, grace and forgiveness.

Practice joyfully submitting yourself to any human authority over you – your parents if you are still young and at home, your boss/teachers, the government, your pastor, your mentor, etc.  unless they ask you to sin.

Practice encouraging the leaders in the church.  Maybe you could email out prayers to the group of leaders/teachers/deacons/ministers and pray for them to have God’s wisdom and pray for unity in the body of Christ and pray for God’s will to be done.  (don’t email men privately, but as a group should be ok with a general prayer for your church and leadership)

Surround yourself with godly girl friends.

Pray about and seek a godly female mentor.

Be content in Christ alone.

IN SUMMARY – focus on Jesus!  Focus on becoming a godly woman and what God has in front of you today.  Be open to new people and to opportunities.  Be sensitive to God’s Spirit.   Be completely yielded and submitted to Christ.  Pray “Not my will, but Yours be done!”  Trust God’s sovereignty.  Stay in His Word.  Get together with believers.  Have strong, godly friends.  Serve others joyfully mind humbly.