But, I’m a GOOD Person!

Posted on June 11, 2013 by


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Yesterday, we looked at the wisdom of our culture, “Are Women Morally and Spiritually Superior to Men?”

We examined God’s perspective and His holy judgment of ALL people as being evil.  He says there is no one that is good (Romans 3)  He says that our best attempts to be good look like “filthy, bloody menstrual rags” to Him (Isaiah 64:6).  Yikes!

Jesus says, “God alone is good.” Luke 18:19

That’s pretty harsh, right?

WAIT A MINUTE!  I’M A GOOD PERSON!!!

I used to think that about myself.  Actually, I would think, “I’m a GREAT CHRISTIAN!”

  • I was always in all honors classes and made all As.
  • I didn’t get in trouble at school or at home in middle/high school – except for the one time I was late to lunch b/c I waited for my friend at her locker and we both got detention hall.  I was HORRIFIED!
  • I accepted Christ when I was 5 years old.
  • I studied the Bible almost every day.
  • I loved God.
  • I prayed intently almost every day.  Some days I would pray for 4 hours per day on my days off as an adult.
  • To date, I have never even had a speeding ticket.
  • I was a perfectionist.
  • I practiced flute and piano each for one hour every day in high school.  I made it into All State Band and won piano competitions.
  • I was extremely active in my youth group at church and later taught Bible Studies and Sunday School classes.
  •  I was a leader in almost every Christian circle I was involved in.  I was one of the “best” Christians there.
  • I always went to church unless I was sick.
  • I was sure that I was the best Christian wife ever.
  • I could see God’s will so clearly – I thought.  I was so in tune with God.  I was so highly spiritual.
  • I knew what was right all the time.  If everyone would just listen to me and do what I said… they would be so much better off!
  • I only tasted alcohol (a few sips less than a handful of times – usually unintentionally – like the waitress gave me the wrong drink!)  I have never been drunk in my life.
  • I never abused drugs.
  • I never tried a cigarette.
  • I never partied in college or high school, or any time.
  • I was a virgin when we got married.
  • I always tried very hard to follow all the laws perfectly, and all company policies and any school rules – I tried to be perfect at them all the time.
  •  I never cussed. I never even said, “Shut up!”
  • I never said, “I hate you” to anyone.
  • I never called anyone names.
  • I was never a racist.
  • I almost never yelled at anyone.
  • I gave blood.
  • I volunteered to help with many ministry projects.
  • I taught Sunday School classes.
  • I knew the Bible VERY well and had memorized many verses.  I thought I was obeying God’s Word.

Let me show you just a fraction of the sin that God exposed in my soul in December of 2008

  • IDOLATRY – If you read Exodus 20, the 10 commandments, there is no worse sin than putting something else before God in your heart.  I suppose that what I was doing may also be called “blasphemy.”  Either way – I was committing CONSTANT, HEINOUS sin in my heart – every waking moment – for decades I set myself up as god in my heart without even realizing it.  I had a HUGE picture of myself, living as if I were sovereign and everything was ultimately in my control and up to me.  If I didn’t make things happen the way I knew they should – it would be certain disaster for me and everyone around me, I was very sure.  I had a TINY picture of God in my head.  He was wimpy, impotent, weak and incapable of orchestrating the events in my world and in the universe for ultimate good.   I would never have consciously SAID or thought these things.  But this is how I actually lived.  I did NOT understand God’s sovereignty.  I tried to carry God’s responsibilities – and it crushed me.  I set my heart on other things above Christ, too.  Not consciously – but that is how I lived.  I put my feeling loved by my husband and my husband ahead of my intimacy with Christ.  If there is something that I believe I MUST HAVE in order to be content or be ok –  and it is not Jesus Christ – I am probably committing idolatry.  As one of our ministers says, “the human heart is an idol factory.”  Idolatry is to God, what adultery is in marriage – a violation of a sacred covenant I have with Him.  It is a most wicked and evil sin.  The Old Testament is full of descriptions of God’s holy and righteous wrath falling on His people for committing idolatry instead of worshipping only Him.
  • I THOUGHT I WAS THE HOLY SPIRIT – I thought it was my duty to tell others what to do and convict them of their sins and make them do God’s will – that has to be blasphemy, me trying to take the place and responsibilities of God’s Spirit!  I didn’t understand that God handles all of that – it is not remotely my place to try to do His job.  Only God can change people.  Only God can open people’s spiritually dead eyes.  NOT ME.  I elevated myself – a wretched sinner – to the level of deity in my mind.
  • UNBELIEF – Jesus describes this as the unforgivable sin.  If I trust myself, not Him – that is HUGE.  I thought I trusted Jesus, but then I lived as if I couldn’t trust Him and had to trust myself.
  • PRIDE – I really believed I knew better than my husband ALL THE TIME.  I also believed I knew better than everyone else around me all the time.  And, actually, I believed I knew better than God what needed to happen in my life and others’ lives.  And I set myself above God’s Word deciding that I was exempt from some things.  I don’t know how God measures pride, but mine was off the charts.  Probably much like Satan’s.  God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  James 4:6  God Himself opposed me all those years. That is why I didn’t see answers to my prayers, even though I actually was praying for things that were God’s will.  My motives were evil, selfish and prideful.
  • GOSSIP – probably no need to elaborate here.  This is ugly sin in God’s eyes, too.  It does so much damage to relationships and it grieves the heart of God just like all sin does.
  • DISRESPECT OF GOD-GIVEN AUTHORITY – I believed I knew better than my parents growing up.  I just knew they needed my wisdom and help to raise my siblings.  I believed I knew better than my teachers.  I believed I knew better than my pastor and Sunday School teachers.  I believed I knew better than my husband.  I did not trust God to lead me through the God-given authority He placed in my life.  I believed I should make my own decisions because “no one else was nearly as spiritually mature as I was.” I knew it was my place to criticize, condemn and judge those in authority over me if I did not agree with them.  I had a critical spirit.  I put myself in God’s place to judge other people.
  • DISOBEDIENCE TO GOD’S WORD – I tried to forgive.  I knew I was supposed to.  But I couldn’t.  I held on to resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness.  Honestly, I believed I was above having to forgive others.  I didn’t see myself as much of a sinner.  God Himself would forgive – but I didn’t think I should have to.  I disrespected my husband all day every day – unintentionally – but I wounded him deeply, nonetheless.  I had no idea what respect even was – or that it was my husband’s primary need in our marriage – or that there was a whole world of masculine respect I was totally oblivious to.  I didn’t actually honor my husband’s leadership, as God commanded me to.  I tried to force my husband to do what I said.  I tried to control him and usurp his God-given authority.
  • SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS – I looked down on my husband as being spiritually inferior to me.  I thought I was so much better than he was.  That is the sin Jesus spent so much time confronting in the Pharisees.  He spent WAY MORE TIME rebuking those prideful, self-righteous religious leaders than He did rebuking lust, adultery, murder or any of those “big sins.”  To Jesus – this IS big sin.
  • HATRED – I held on to grudges and hatred sometimes for years.  I John 4:19-21 says “We love because He first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar.  For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.  And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.”  (brother – meaning a fellow believer).  I John 3:15 says, “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.”

I was living under the control of the sinful nature. That is why I didn’t have God’s Spirit filling me with His peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

That is why I was full of anxiety, worry, fear and stress. Being a controlling person, thinking you have to make everything work out right and that the world depends on every word and action you say and that you are in charge, not God – is STRESSFUL!!!!!!!!!  It is too much weight for a person to bear!  Also, trying to control my marriage and husband was exhausting.  I buckled under the strain.  And I resented my husband because I was carrying all that weight.  It was a very lonely way to live.

I owed Jesus BILLIONS of “sin dollars.”  It turns out that I am a wretched sinner.  That was pretty shocking to me.   I  TOTALLY deserve hell.  My sin debt was MASSIVE.  That is what I had earned for myself in the sight of the One, true, holy, righteous, just, loving, sovereign God.

I THANK AND PRAISE GOD that He opened my eyes to this truth, so that I could get on my face and humble myself and repent and ask Him to give me a new heart and a new mind.

JESUS  SAID, “I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE.  NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER BUT THROUGH ME.”  (John 14:6)

He LOVES us.  We are so utterly evil, yet His love is so unfathomable, that He wouldn’t leave us in our doomed position.  He made a way for us to return to Him.  He made a way for His justice to be satisfied by allowing all of His holy wrath that we deserved to fall on His perfect Son.

He can rescue us from our sinful, wretched state.  He can cause us to be  “born again” into His kingdom.  He is willing to raise us to new life by the power of the blood of Jesus, shed for us.  I can’t earn God’s favor.  I can’t earn heaven.  I can only earn hell.

But, THANK YOU, GOD!!!!!  Jesus paid my debt in full for me.  If I will turn to Him in faith, admitting my sin and guilt, asking for His forgiveness, accepting His death for the payment for my sins – He will forgive me and wipe away all of my sin.

Then I surrender myself to Him as my LORD for the rest of my life.  He is in charge of my life now, not me.  I die to myself-  I give up my wisdom, my ways, my desires, my will, my dreams.  I pick up His wisdom, His ways, His desires, His will and His dreams. He gives me a new heart that longs to obey Him and that loves what He loves and hates what He hates.  All I have is now His.  And all He has is now mine.  HE IS MY LIFE NOW.  HE IS MY GOD.  HE IS ALL I NEED.  If I have Him, I can be full of joy, peace and contentment.  He alone can satisfy.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.  2 Peter 3:9

You can also check out sermons about having a relationship with Christ, salvation, and many other topics

www.desiringgod.org by John Piper

www.radical.net by David Platt

RELATED POST:

DYING TO SELF

If you want to talk about finding a real relationship with Christ, finding peace with God, knowing Christ, finding out about how to accept His gift for you – leave me a comment. 🙂

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