When we refuse to let go of things that we put above Christ in our hearts – even good things – we set ourselves on a path of depression, anxiety, fear, misery, loneliness, discouragement, discontentment and separation from God.
If I say, “I HAVE to have a boyfriend/husband/marriage/family/romance – and I will do ANYTHING to get it!” And I refuse to be willing to find contentment in Christ alone, I will miss the blessings of God, the joy and peace of God, the presence of God, the power of God, the miracles of God… and I will be stuck alone with my own sin, depressed, isolated, angry, bitter and hardened.
Something else that happens, that we often don’t realize, is that when we make having a husband/family into an idol – we come across in a very DESPERATE, NEEDY and CLINGY way to men. That repels men. Guys know when a girl has being married and having children as an idol. They can detect that a woman isn’t actually interested in them, but in what the man can give to them – a wedding, a home, children, a marriage, etc. Godly men are not attracted to women who put marriage/children above Christ in their hearts.
Another thing we may not realize is that if we actually DID get married to a man and we had him, marriage and children as idols – we will destroy our marriage. We will never be content. Being married won’t be enough. We will want our husbands to make us feel loved in specific ways and to change to be what we want them to be to “make us happy.” The more we try to change our men, the more we repel them. And the more they see that we don’t actually respect them, we just want to use them to get what we want, the more fragile the marriage will become. Then, if we can’t have children or our husbands decide not to have children, we will want to divorce our husbands because we can’t have what we really want – children. I see this OFTEN! Wives end up bitter and full of resentment because their husband said he wanted children before marriage, but then they got married and the husband changed his mind. The wives, who had children/marriage as idols, sink deeper into discontentment and continue on in their idolatry. If they do have children, they often put the children above the husband and also take over in the marriage – and the husband ends up becoming unplugged and uninvolved and distant. Sometimes temptation enters the picture. The marriage is not built on the solid rock of Christ and His Word – it is built on sinking sand and it will collapse in time unless the whole thing is rebuilt on Christ.
There is NEVER a happy end to idolatry! Idolatry always destroys us, our relationship with God and with people.
So, the very thing we want the most becomes even more difficult to obtain when we put it as our greatest desire in life above Christ. God will NEVER let us find contentment in anything but Himself. We will only find disappointment when we set our hearts on other things.
It is only when we put Christ first in His proper place, that His Spirit floods us with His peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control and we would be most attractive to truly godly men.
Desiring a husband and children is not wrong. Those are GOOD things. BUT – if we desire them above Christ – that is idolatry and it is major sin. It will destroy us. I don’t want any of you to experience the pain that idolatry brings. I long for you all to experience the abundant peace, love, joy, presence and power of God in your lives as you abide in Him, grow in Him and become more and more like Christ and I long for you to experience all the blessings, miracles and treasures of heaven as you walk in obedience, loving God with all your hearts, minds, souls and strength.
The key, in my view, is to be able to genuinely say, “Not my will, but Yours be done!” And to be willing to allow God to determine our course, even if it is not what we think we want or if we have to wait.
RELATED:
Are You Willing to Sacrifice Your “Isaac”?
What is Attractive/Unattractive to Godly Men?
How to Stop Idolatry and Truly Live for Christ
Trying to Find Security in All the Wrong Places
Security/Contentment is Only Found in Christ!
wykeshialm86
March 2, 2014
When it comes to having true feelings for someone who really attracts your attention, you will soon discover that people’s opinion will not only ruin your confidence, but to treat love as a disease. That explains why letting go is really hard to do.
Honestly, I have experienced so much during the time when I’ve had my strong crush on this one particular guy. As an honest Christian lady with a young heart, I can’t fake that I still be thinking about my crush because I do. I amen, all that I’ve done such as being overly friendly and pursuing myself to him instead of him pursuing me. This is 2014 so what I’ve done last year, I can’t do it again this year because I do not want to see myself being depressed about this guy anymore, and I’m way too beautiful of a godly lady to be depressed about that.
As a true poet, I’ve learned a couple of lessons about that. I learned that if I can’t get someone off my mind, then maybe they are supposed to be there. Another thing my crush have taught me was this one: sometimes you got to let people go see if they really meant to be in your life permanently.
What was said could be true but I asked myself, “Even though I’ve moved on, do I still care and pray for the guy who I have feelings for?”
I have to confess that I still do but at the same time, I’m trying not to my idol like I did before even though we’re still friends and haven’t contacted each since Valentine’s Day. It’s not because we don’t care about each other or anything, but it’s because we both respect each other, and that he’s busy doing his thing, I did the same.
Sometimes, I just have to let go of some people in my life, because not all of them are meant to stay until the end. But if I love somebody, I have to let them go, for if they return, they were always mine, and if they don’t, they never were. Sometimes love is not enough and some things were never meant to be; I just have to accept it and learn to let go. Now that is what I learned the hard way. As Virtuous as I am (Proverbs 31), I know my worth and will only put up with someone for so long, before I finally decide to let go and move on.
For days I struggled to make a decision on whether or not I should let go of the person I cared about and respect him enough to understand he only sees me as a friend even though he respects the fact I was interested in him. From this day forward, I will all of my quality time being closer to God and trust Him enough to be patient for Him to give me what my heart desires.
Now’s the time that I face up to my responsibilities and be about Our Father’s business, keep His commandments, let go and Let GOD!!!!
“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” -Psalm 55:22
Love always,
Wykeshia
peacefulwife
March 3, 2014
Wykeshia,
Thanks so much for sharing!
It is painful to lay down a dream that we had our hearts set on. It is also a very important part of healing to be able to let that person go if he is not interested romantically and trust God to meet our needs. I’m glad you are working through your feelings and emotions and seeking God first with all your heart.
I pray for God’s will and His glory for your life, my precious sister!
wykeshialm86
March 3, 2014
Thanks alot! I think letting go could be a blessing because I don’t see what’s the whole point of holding on to a person who is not worthy of me. I figured if I place my heart in God’s hands, He will place your heart in the hands of a worthy person.
peacefulwife
March 4, 2014
Wykeshia,
We will pray for God’s will for you together. 🙂 And for God’s glory in your life.
Much love my friend!!!!
April
wykeshialm86
March 4, 2014
🙂
peace be with you